burnunit | 1000 words

subject line of my email this morning: bunrise

"Hello, friends and family and all who have held us in prayer and accompanied us on our long voyage of pregnancy, loss, pregnancy again, and trembling expectation.
Our long night is over, and we have a second son who will come home with us this time, and if there is any justice in this world at all, he will bury us and not the other way around.

As-Yet-Unanamed Bun Thorson gave his mother an awe-striking ordeal with his 10 lbs, 1 oz. 21-inch frame. We had known he was big, and now we know what that looks and feels like. He's beautiful, very chubby right now so it's hard to distinguish features, (although he really seems to have nancy's nose) His coloring seems to be a shade between my own swarthiness and Nancy's porcelain complexion.

Nancy's labor lasted for 23 hours, beginning at 3am on the 26th, and finally giving birth at 2:30 this morning, the 27th.

The Bun had dirtied the water he was living in. The substance is technically called maconium. This gave us some real concern, because we didn't know much about that happening, and it was the first sign during the whole pregnancy that anything was not completely right. But he did come through just marvellously, and as long as he doesn't pick up my cold, he'll do fine.

When he was returned to us from the nursery this morning, the first time we spent bonding was giving him a nap on my chest. He eagerly met the task of eating his first meal, and I changed the first diaper of my life. In all of these things, Nancy and I exchange knowing looks that these are what we call "Rainbow Moments," named after the Rainbow perinatal loss support group which has been so instrumental in sharing our grief over Rune this last year. A Rainbow moment is a moment you have in the devlopment of your child born subsequent to a loss, usually a first, like first diaper, first day of school, graduation, wedding day, etc. It's a moment that makes you feel profoundly displaced because you know at the bottom of your heart that you should have done this before, this should not be new.

It is so breathtakingly sweet to savor simple firsts like this, though, in knowledge that we have time, lots of time to get to know this child, and in defiance of all of the fears that tell us otherwise.

Thanks for all of your prayers, love, words of comfort and concern, and work on our behalf. We are conscious even as we are isolated up in the quarantined birth center that our wider community of friends, family, church, coworkers and others are with us in our joy today.

Peace be with you,

Erik and Nancy"

'The heavens proclaim your glory, O God,
and the firmament shows forth the work of your hands.
Day unto day takes up the story
and night unto night makes known the message.

No speech, no word, no voice is heard
yet their span extends through all the earth,
their words to the utmost bounds of the world.

There you have placed a tent for the sun;
it comes forth like a bridegroom coming from his tent,
rejoices like a champion to run its course.
At the end of the sky is the rising of the sun;
to the furthest end of the sky is its course.
There is nothing concealed from its burning heat.' psalm 19