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knock knock. who's there?
May. 1st, 2009 09:40 am61 days until CONvergence 2009
Can I just say I really appreciate the fine work of all the volunteers who make this happen? I believe I just did. I do. Thank you. You now have 2 months to make it happen all over again. This should be a cause for celebration, not alarm. Stop being alarmed, you!
You should register before May 15.
And just 425 days until CVG 2010
Can I just say I really appreciate the fine work of all the volunteers who make this happen? I believe I just did. I do. Thank you. You now have 2 months to make it happen all over again. This should be a cause for celebration, not alarm. Stop being alarmed, you!
You should register before May 15.
And just 425 days until CVG 2010
I can has garden?
Apr. 28th, 2009 01:22 pmWe need a tiller. I'd prefer not to be forced to rent one. Help me LJ-wan, you're my only hope!
Anybody got a tiller or access to a tiller? We really need one.
Comment or email jonsolsen at gmail dot com
Anybody got a tiller or access to a tiller? We really need one.
Comment or email jonsolsen at gmail dot com
valedictions, no chaser
Apr. 28th, 2009 10:48 amI intend to remember
and not try to turn it off
I have the lingering ghosts of the moment
in the palms of my hands
impressed quite firmly upon them,
directly under my nose
and there they'll live, stilled
though able to haunt
I'll not exorcise them
I don't have a good bible for that
nor any of the old rituals
that they used
to dust out the mansions
evict their many spirits
or fling open the windows
to set sun upon the empty dance floor
and loose cool spring breath
among the motes
instead I close my eyes
and for once
stand so still
and not try to turn it off
I have the lingering ghosts of the moment
in the palms of my hands
impressed quite firmly upon them,
directly under my nose
and there they'll live, stilled
though able to haunt
I'll not exorcise them
I don't have a good bible for that
nor any of the old rituals
that they used
to dust out the mansions
evict their many spirits
or fling open the windows
to set sun upon the empty dance floor
and loose cool spring breath
among the motes
instead I close my eyes
and for once
stand so still
SMASHUP MONDAY
Apr. 27th, 2009 11:32 amJust finished Death Proof, which I need to watch with my full attention some time. Not sure if Leann would like that movie. Might. Will really hate some parts of the first half). Now I'm going to watch Vanishing Point. Any suggestions for my afternoon if I get thru VP?
MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY!
netflix instant. hells yes.
MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY!
netflix instant. hells yes.
Giving myself a raise
Apr. 24th, 2009 11:51 amWe've had some tough financial times lately. They reduced everyone's salaries at work (mine fell into the group "only" reduced by 5%) and stopped matching 401K contributions. I understand this, because I'd prefer the company stay in business and if we survive, they'll eventually restore these changes. They had to freeze raises quite a while ago, though, so I've been holding at the same salary for over 30 months (well, LESS than now with the reductions) after several years of steady increases at this and previous jobs. Well I can't really afford that. I just can't. So I had to make some changes to give myself a "raise." More like a little plundering of Peter, but Paul is being such a bitch right now (and by "Paul" I mean "very few frivolous expenses, seriously" I mean stuff like Health, Dental and Vision!). I reduced (didn't eliminate) my 401K contributions significantly, along with changing my exemptions. I realized I hadn't increased our tax exemptions since Henry was born. The net result is that my take home pay today is about $100 more than it was a month ago. It's not much, and I know the 401K thing could bite me later, but having two hundred extra bucks per month right now could mean the difference between making it to retirement and fucking falling into destitution.
These are the choices you make.
I'd rather have to retire many years later (or never) than have my beloved children get a chronic illness without health insurance, or be able to clothe them when they outgrow things, or be able to eat healthily (kind of important right now as I'm living the way I am). Or you know, pay for hotel at CONvergence (done). Or every once in a while get a babysitter. IT's been a while for that last one, however!
These are the choices you make.
I'd rather have to retire many years later (or never) than have my beloved children get a chronic illness without health insurance, or be able to clothe them when they outgrow things, or be able to eat healthily (kind of important right now as I'm living the way I am). Or you know, pay for hotel at CONvergence (done). Or every once in a while get a babysitter. IT's been a while for that last one, however!
pogue mamiscellany
Apr. 24th, 2009 09:05 amDo you remember this performance?
White City
Man, I sure do. This was just incendiary for me. I was what? Seventeen. I immediately, like the next day, joined BMG or Columbia House, and got three of their albums (on cassette!) I also got The Waterboys. This was a seminal moment for me I guess. Gods what a demented genius Shane McGowan is.
Here's the song I have in my head this morning. Not a bad thing to have stuck up there. The great "Sunny Side of the Street"
"Seen the carnival at rome Had the women I had the booze
All I can remember now Is little kids without no shoes
So I saw that train And I got on it With a heartful of hate And a lust for vomit
Now Im walking on the sunnyside of the street"
"Stepped over bodies in bombay Tried to make it to the u.s.a.
Ended up in nepal Up on the roof with nothing at all
And I knew that day I was going to stay Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street"
"Been in a palace, been in a jail I just dont want to be reborn a snail
Just want to spend eternity Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street"
"As my mother wept it was then I swore To take my life as I would a whore
I know Im better than before I will not be reconstructed
Just wanna stay right here On the sunnyside of the street"
White City
Man, I sure do. This was just incendiary for me. I was what? Seventeen. I immediately, like the next day, joined BMG or Columbia House, and got three of their albums (on cassette!) I also got The Waterboys. This was a seminal moment for me I guess. Gods what a demented genius Shane McGowan is.
Here's the song I have in my head this morning. Not a bad thing to have stuck up there. The great "Sunny Side of the Street"
"Seen the carnival at rome Had the women I had the booze
All I can remember now Is little kids without no shoes
So I saw that train And I got on it With a heartful of hate And a lust for vomit
Now Im walking on the sunnyside of the street"
"Stepped over bodies in bombay Tried to make it to the u.s.a.
Ended up in nepal Up on the roof with nothing at all
And I knew that day I was going to stay Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street"
"Been in a palace, been in a jail I just dont want to be reborn a snail
Just want to spend eternity Right where I am, on the sunnyside of the street"
"As my mother wept it was then I swore To take my life as I would a whore
I know Im better than before I will not be reconstructed
Just wanna stay right here On the sunnyside of the street"
dang. no updates
Apr. 24th, 2009 08:57 amOkay. So, regrettably, there's nothing new from my salesguy/'boyfriend'. what shall I do next? we all want a fix of his antics, this is for sure. But perhaps three times is the charm and it's time to change course. LJ, what do you think I should do about [redacted sales guy] ?
[Poll #1389218]
[Poll #1389218]
The Saga CONTINUES!
Apr. 23rd, 2009 10:18 amOn Thu, Apr 23, 2009 at 8:21 AM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:
We attract customers that are truly interested in purchasing quality [redacted product], not bargain basement shoppers like yourself. Save the suit, your probably much more comfortable working from moms basement in your pajamas.
Good day and I hope all works out for you.
Best,
[redacted sales guy]
my response
Dearest [redacted sales guy]
Oh, no no surely I have given you the wrong idea! Our office is on the ground floor, and when you are next in the Twin Cities, do come by for the tour. We shall have butternut squash and bacon canapes (my own recipe). And I make a lovely Aviation cocktail which I'm told inspires many to feats of the most grandiose entrepreneurship and unparalleled client service. I'll introduce you to the wife and kids and you can even examine our data center.
And my dear mother, bless her soul, is hundreds of miles away pining for her grandchildren. It was certainly a difficult time in our lives, living under her roof those many years ago. She loathed our noisy dog and stifled her anxieties for my pride's sake while we sought to get back on our feet. What a strong and vigorous woman. Do you know that she is already 71? Seventy-one! I will tell her you asked after her, she'll be so pleased.
The dog, of course, had to be put down.
Warm regards,
Jon
We attract customers that are truly interested in purchasing quality [redacted product], not bargain basement shoppers like yourself. Save the suit, your probably much more comfortable working from moms basement in your pajamas.
Good day and I hope all works out for you.
Best,
[redacted sales guy]
my response
Dearest [redacted sales guy]
Oh, no no surely I have given you the wrong idea! Our office is on the ground floor, and when you are next in the Twin Cities, do come by for the tour. We shall have butternut squash and bacon canapes (my own recipe). And I make a lovely Aviation cocktail which I'm told inspires many to feats of the most grandiose entrepreneurship and unparalleled client service. I'll introduce you to the wife and kids and you can even examine our data center.
And my dear mother, bless her soul, is hundreds of miles away pining for her grandchildren. It was certainly a difficult time in our lives, living under her roof those many years ago. She loathed our noisy dog and stifled her anxieties for my pride's sake while we sought to get back on our feet. What a strong and vigorous woman. Do you know that she is already 71? Seventy-one! I will tell her you asked after her, she'll be so pleased.
The dog, of course, had to be put down.
Warm regards,
Jon
You're not going to believe this
Apr. 22nd, 2009 09:30 pmHe wrote back.
On Apr 22, 2009, at 4:13 PM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:
Well apparently it worked………..you finally responded. Oh and go ahead give them the other quotes, safe to assume your quoting [product] which we all know how well that works. As you know we are a [different flavor of product] and we choose who we work with not the other way around. Again if you are serious about discussing a partnership then let me know a good time to get on the the phone to discuss.
We may not be a match, hard to say. Thank you for the response.
my response
[redacted sales guy]!
It did work; you must say that to all the businesses! You are correct, I AM looking for [flavor of product he implied was bad] and I agree, we likely will not be a perfect match.
Your PPC guys must be going crazy. They have to hate it that leads who click their carefully made ads can't tell that it's [redacted company] who does the choosing, and not the other way around. Maybe they could reduce their spend, since the customer's shopping process is evidently immaterial. Once they learn the inside sales reps have eliminated the need for attracting customers, it should make budget negotiations much easier.
As requested, I'll keep your number. I can foresee a time when someone I work with insists I put on a nice suit, buy flowers, and beg you to take me back.
Best,
JonO
please God, make him write back...
On Apr 22, 2009, at 4:13 PM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:
Well apparently it worked………..you finally responded. Oh and go ahead give them the other quotes, safe to assume your quoting [product] which we all know how well that works. As you know we are a [different flavor of product] and we choose who we work with not the other way around. Again if you are serious about discussing a partnership then let me know a good time to get on the the phone to discuss.
We may not be a match, hard to say. Thank you for the response.
my response
[redacted sales guy]!
It did work; you must say that to all the businesses! You are correct, I AM looking for [flavor of product he implied was bad] and I agree, we likely will not be a perfect match.
Your PPC guys must be going crazy. They have to hate it that leads who click their carefully made ads can't tell that it's [redacted company] who does the choosing, and not the other way around. Maybe they could reduce their spend, since the customer's shopping process is evidently immaterial. Once they learn the inside sales reps have eliminated the need for attracting customers, it should make budget negotiations much easier.
As requested, I'll keep your number. I can foresee a time when someone I work with insists I put on a nice suit, buy flowers, and beg you to take me back.
Best,
JonO
please God, make him write back...
This actually happened today
Apr. 22nd, 2009 04:03 pmOn Wed, Apr 22, 2009 at 3:15 PM, [redacted sales guy] wrote:
Jon are you serious about moving forward with a [marketing service I inquired about]? Are you wasting our time or did you have a serious need that we can help with.
Woah [redacted sales guy], hold on a second with the "wasting our time" bit. I thought when I filled out the get-a-quote form that I identified some of the things I was looking for. I appreciate the clarity of purpose and firm resolve you demonstrate on your follow through, but maybe this is a little stronger worded than you need it to be for a potential customer.
That said, I operate a small B2B business for other small businesses. I am scoping on behalf of my own clients who are a [business type]. And I want to know the following four items:
- [four questions about their marketing services, delivery, cost and reporting methods]
That'll do it. Now is that serious enough or should I give my clients the quotes I have from your competitors plus my margin?
Regards,
Jon Olsen
(no subject)
Apr. 21st, 2009 07:35 amare your arms long enough
to undo the bindings behind me the ties
and trappings and fringes of reminders,
the clasps and buttons, the sewed on pieces
can you reach these
traces of lacings and sayings
words through clenched teeth
the scent of sweets
on the dense air
on the dense air
the red spring right here
alternating bursts of sun and sleet
all the dissolved ice
the misplaced slivers of light
yes, I said, they are
pains in the tops of my thighs departing
the breath caught in the corners of my lungs
unspooling on sharp angles of the dying winter
my head hung my apple cheeks
my hair in all directions chest heaving
yes they will reach
she is a set of framed black and whites
a pair of field workers in this one
a donkey burdened with firewood
a great stack of bolts of cloth
body wrapped and all held together
each picture separated, the backgrounds the same
she is a white flash of musketfire
a stab of ecstatic pain
at the midpoint of my shoulders
she is a streak of straw windrowsmany tangles yet ordered upon the brown earth
and fresh with the dry scent of late summer
a mouth, shoulders, spine, hips
so sweetly out of season
Some like it hoth
Apr. 20th, 2009 11:17 amLast week's LOST ... man, it was so gentle and friendly and character-driven. Great work by Ken Leung, just great.
We're being set for some massive shoes to drop. I predict this was like a sorbet course. The rest of the episodes are going to be killer. If this was a sorbet or intermezzo, the rest of the season is going to be frigging gavage!
So I've done some work with some of the madness you've read in days of yore on this journal and reworked it into spoken word pieces. Here's a sample: My Own Distortions (part 1)
There's several more tracks over at my home writing page.
There's several more tracks over at my home writing page.
fun with memery
Apr. 16th, 2009 07:26 amTaken from ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
magicmarmot. . .
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?! Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drank alcohol? These questions for the people who are a little older.
( read, then post your own if you like )
magicmarmot. . . Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?! Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drank alcohol? These questions for the people who are a little older.
( read, then post your own if you like )
super super
Apr. 15th, 2009 12:44 pmTo celebrate 30 days of abstinence, I am watching Superbad. Yes, while I work, bitches. It is also exceedingly funny! So fun.
I told you. Didn't I tell you? Change. My. Life.
I told you. Didn't I tell you? Change. My. Life.
Watch instantly is going to change my life.
Know how I'm always bitching about missing movies because of the kids and cuz of other reasons? I watch so few movies these days. Compared to everyone else, I watch a LOT less movies. I watch so few movies compared to you. Just think of the lowest number of movies you've watched in a year at any point in the last five years. Subtract five from that number. That's still probably more than me.
Watch instantly is going to change my life.
Know how I'm always bitching about missing movies because of the kids and cuz of other reasons? I watch so few movies these days. Compared to everyone else, I watch a LOT less movies. I watch so few movies compared to you. Just think of the lowest number of movies you've watched in a year at any point in the last five years. Subtract five from that number. That's still probably more than me.
Watch instantly is going to change my life.
recipe: before it slips my mind
Apr. 10th, 2009 06:08 pm1/2 c red miso
1 tbsp canola oil
1 tsp sesame oil
2 stalks celery
1 tomato
1 tbsp soy sauce
4 oz. apple sauce
Juice from half a lemon
1/4 c + 2 tbsp rice vinegar
Put in a reliable blender and make smooth (I of course use the VITA MIX 3600!!). The result? A very very good salad dressing in the style of that seemingly ubiquitous dressing you get at many Japanese restaurants. My current favorite rendition of this dressing is at O Bento Ya, and the recipe above doesn't even come close. But what I've made does taste awesome.
1 tbsp canola oil
1 tsp sesame oil
2 stalks celery
1 tomato
1 tbsp soy sauce
4 oz. apple sauce
Juice from half a lemon
1/4 c + 2 tbsp rice vinegar
Put in a reliable blender and make smooth (I of course use the VITA MIX 3600!!). The result? A very very good salad dressing in the style of that seemingly ubiquitous dressing you get at many Japanese restaurants. My current favorite rendition of this dressing is at O Bento Ya, and the recipe above doesn't even come close. But what I've made does taste awesome.
Ahem. Bacon!
Apr. 10th, 2009 10:33 amKevin Bacon was in 60th Primetime Emmy Awards, The (2008) (TV) with Stephen Colbert
who was in
Gahan Wilson: Born Dead, Still Weird (2008) with Neil Gaiman
who was in Thaco
WITH ME
My Bacon Number is Three.
who was in
Gahan Wilson: Born Dead, Still Weird (2008) with Neil Gaiman
who was in Thaco
WITH ME
My Bacon Number is Three.
counting the days
Apr. 7th, 2009 11:25 am85 days until CONVergence 2009. Even the at the door rate it's a massive return on your investment in fun (please pre-register, though, it's better than ATD).
register today!
register today!
upcoming attractions
Apr. 6th, 2009 12:04 amI have a lot of stuff I need to write. I am very tired and my wrists hurt. I don't think I'll write them now. But I'm going to this week. I'm on an odyssey right now, and it's got a lot of small parts and pieces I need to pull together in a coherent tale.
Snow.
DOJ asks judge to set aside Stevens' conviction.
Waxman's Global warming legislation. Includes the following, emphasis added: "Clean Air Act Exemptions. The draft provides that CO2 and other greenhouse gases may not be regulated as criteria pollutants or hazardous air pollutants on the basis of their effect on global warming."
The following statement: "Because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warranty." (if it hadn't been for my horse, I would never have spent that year in college)
Glenn Beck on 9/9/05
The list of Bernie Madoff's victims runs to 163 pages.
Neal Wolin has been nominated for Geithner's number two post at Treasury (currently he's Deputy Secretary-designate). You don't know who Neal Wolin is, but he helped write the drafts of the Gramm-Leach-Bliley act. You may remember the Gramm Leach Bliley Act from such deregulation nightmares as THIS CURRENT RECESSION.
Did I mention the snow?
DOJ asks judge to set aside Stevens' conviction.
Waxman's Global warming legislation. Includes the following, emphasis added: "Clean Air Act Exemptions. The draft provides that CO2 and other greenhouse gases may not be regulated as criteria pollutants or hazardous air pollutants on the basis of their effect on global warming."
The following statement: "Because starting today, the United States government will stand behind your warranty." (if it hadn't been for my horse, I would never have spent that year in college)
Glenn Beck on 9/9/05
The list of Bernie Madoff's victims runs to 163 pages.
Neal Wolin has been nominated for Geithner's number two post at Treasury (currently he's Deputy Secretary-designate). You don't know who Neal Wolin is, but he helped write the drafts of the Gramm-Leach-Bliley act. You may remember the Gramm Leach Bliley Act from such deregulation nightmares as THIS CURRENT RECESSION.
Did I mention the snow?
I love America
Mar. 26th, 2009 09:19 amSo the big ol Notre Dame protest is gearing up. As Hockey Zombie points out, "It would be just terrible if people filled out the petition with obscene fake names. Just terrible."
I personally know Holofernes Cockknocker (of the Indianapolis Cockknockers), Wispy McFuckindiana (Yoderville, IN), and Dick Shitdick (Goshen, IN) feel very strongly about this petition.
I personally know Holofernes Cockknocker (of the Indianapolis Cockknockers), Wispy McFuckindiana (Yoderville, IN), and Dick Shitdick (Goshen, IN) feel very strongly about this petition.
How did I miss this?
Mar. 25th, 2009 09:42 am(oh yeah...I don't watch SNL anymore) What I especially like is how he nails the cadences of the President and yet deftly mashes them up with the other characterization. I really like where Dwayne Johnson is going as an actor these days.
Dan Barber talks at TED: one foie gras shows us the future of cooking
This is a pretty amazing story.
This is a pretty amazing story.
a little perspective
Mar. 20th, 2009 09:38 amFrom Rolling Stone's National Affairs desk:
"We’re light blue.
The actual Depression is hot pink."
In other words: miles and miles to go. I'm still not crazy about where business is right now, though...
"We’re light blue.
The actual Depression is hot pink."
In other words: miles and miles to go. I'm still not crazy about where business is right now, though...
From Twitter
Mar. 17th, 2009 07:02 am- 12:58 @z3rr0 was hoping you said "gravity train" but alas, you said "gravy." let us know when you take the real plunge and become truly free #
- 13:42 @theGonzalez I will see you at the intersection of Fake Esplanade and Fake 3:30 #
- 21:55 @MyrnaMinx why can I see it then? #
- 21:55 @leanno TING TING! #
