come back

Tired of the whistling noise, I turned off the fans, the lights, the equipment everywhere and the hertz song wound down.

Get us out of here, but slowly.

Yes, there's plenty of time for the pastes to be applied.

Enough waiting and anyone gets used to the heat. It's the cold you can't stand: the air conditioned drying of nasal passages, the turning of women's eyes upward and away, the quick growth of children into adults. After the winddown, I think, then I'll be ready. Hitching my belt, my many belts, my gear my money my testicles: all arranged. A piece for everything and everything at peace.

Stare into the night, evenly and with hope.

Come back, baby. Come back.

Day 3

There are Krispy Kremes in the building.

The voices tell me to kill.

Day 3

Granola, 2% milk
leftover awesome corn chowder
tofu, mushroom & red pepper stir fry with sticky rice

diet redbull
diet rockstar
water
trident gum

1 hr. walk in evening. Fast, felt like I could have kept going. I was just so thirsty!

Need to eat green vegetables and legumes, starting right away. Maybe something focusing on spinach for lunch tomorrow.

Boy did I want those thrice-damned Krispy Kremes. And a candy bar. And some pop. And a piece of prime rib. I don't really have to be a vegetarian. There's no reason to think a vegetarian diet is going to be any better at promoting weight loss than any other. Except it's a focal point for discipline. And it will keep me low in saturated fats and hydrogenated fats. And the oceans, man. The oceans: 90% of predator fish gone. The ocean is the biggest thing on the planet! How can we have done this? I'd say we need industrial fish farms except industrial ranching has made our meat supplies so suspect.

God I love meat. God I love farmers. But I love living more.